every bits of me was never imagine a warm, gentle touch from one soul since long ago. or maybe, i've been forgetting the senses of the skins, clingy closely. for the fact that those tears had made me blue and cold for a long time.
the warmest hug.
he round his arms on my head and shoulder. i instinctively rounded my hand over him.
i could hear the heartbeats. for every second it became faster more and more. it's located right on my ear, yeah i could hear it so perfectly. i grasped his back, maybe i grasped too much his shirt crumpled. and my hand wounded by my own nails pierced my fingers.
damn i grasped too much.
and that moment, i realized i've made a mistake.
"am i being allowed to feel this joy?
am i being allowed to be happy just because i feel like it?
am i being allowed to cry over this?"
how can a person cry for being happy is still a mistery for me.
the coldest tears.
i hold my tears while pushing him away, said that he should back home soon. i wore my "mask" again, after all this time i put it away, deep beneath my darkened side.
i smiled when he backed home.
i cried after i closed the door.
i didn't wanna feel this mix feelings anymore.
i hate it.
he melted me so much, it's flooding everywhere.
i hate it.
he settled my mood swing, oh God i felt so relieved.
i hate it.
i found him enjoyable to be hugged.
i hate it.
i think i'm falling in love.
and i hate it. no, i loathe it so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment